by Luke McKinney
FoodConnect Toronto
luke.mckinney@foodconnect.com

The cocktail bar is the preserve of the gentleman, he who appreciates the finer points of drinking and will nobly labor to help others join him on the summit of Mount Alcohol. But how can you tell the true connoisseur of combination from the cad who pours from his swiggin' bottles? With these four critical steps on the path to mix maestro-dom:

1. Shaker

Some people believe shakers are the preserve of the weak and foolish, claiming that throwing all the ingredients in a glass and stirring is fine. These people also grunt to communicate, smash bottles to open them, and would use the Mona Lisa as a cafeteria tray if the opportunity presented itself. A shaker is step one for anyone with even a pretense of cocktail making - the changes to texture, temperature and dilution are essential. Remember: shaking over stirring is a distinction James Bond cares about and you, sir, are not James Bond.

2. Vermouth

Check the liquor cabinet: Vermouth is the signpost of someone who's at least trying to do it right. Someone who just keeps buying things they like to drink will never end up with this vital vino-derivative, because anyone who's actually drank a bottle of dry vermouth isn't the sort of person to make drinks for others. They're the sort to wait until everyone else is passed out then drain anything left unattended up to and including the bleach under the sink - so if they do offer a late-night cocktail, you're probably wisest to refuse.

3. Fresh fruit

There are those who view the citrus-components of cocktails as optional - and while they're still superior to the poop-flinging non-shakers detailed above, they're still on a lower shelf of the Evolutionary Bar (Darwin's the bouncer) than "actual humans." Try drinking a screwdriver made with store-bought concentrate and you'll agree, once you're finished beating the villain who just insulted your tongue. People who prefer one or two specifics might make do with a liter of juice but the man with an Encyclopedia of Joy (aka: cocktail list) in his brain needs rounds, wedges, twists and zest. Which means fresh fruit.

4. Goo

You might associate only thick, sticky liquids with the end of a nights drinking (or the next morning, depending); that's because you've never actually made the nicer drinks. Or bothered with them. For everything from Daiquiris to Whiskey sours syrups and sour mix are essential, and I think we can all agree: for a truly good life Daiquiris and Whiskey Sours are essential. Luckily both these gooey goodnesses can easily be made at home (we show you how: syrup, sour mix). True, you can buy some sour mixes from the store - but why go to all the bother of blending a great Long Island Iced Tea just to screw it up with drain-grade supermarket sludge?